Runs for Cookies: It is Been 9 Years!

I have not had a lot to put in writing about currently as a result of I really feel like all I do is figure on ending the lavatory and bed room (they’re virtually finished, trustworthy!). I’ve completed portray and the ground is done–the final main factor is the lavatory closet. I went to Lowe’s right now to get the provides I must construct the cabinets, and I plan to work on that this week. So I am hoping that by the brand new yr, my “new” bed room and loo will likely be completed. Lastly!

Anyway, I searched my “December 20” footage on my laptop (I take advantage of the Pictures app on Mac, which lets you search just about something and pulls up pictures. I search dates typically to see what footage I’ve taken on this date by way of the years.)

There are literally a number of enjoyable footage from December 20, however as quickly as I noticed this one, I knew I needed to write about Mark.

My eyes instantly crammed with tears once I noticed him carrying the Santa hat, along with his eyes crinkled on the corners from years of all the time smiling. I do not forget that day within the hospital; he was passing out sweet to the hospital employees after they got here into his room.

If you happen to’ve been studying my weblog for a very long time (2013-2014 ish) then all about Mark. However I need to write about him right now, as a result of seeing this image makes me miss him. A lot. So right here is his story, in a really small nutshell…

Mark was some of the particular individuals I’ve ever identified. And sadly, I did not get to be very shut with him till the final 4 months of his life; he handed away from lung most cancers in March of 2014.

Mark was a pal of my household for 35 years, and I do not even actually keep in mind *not* realizing him. My dad owned an auto store once I was a child; it was within the tiny neighborhood of a really small suburb the place we lived. My dad would often see a person (Mark, he later realized) strolling across the neighborhood. He favored to gather cans/bottles to get the deposit cash to purchase cigarettes.

My dad talked to him sooner or later and realized his identify was Mark and he lived in a bunch house a mile or so away. He was clearly intellectually disabled, which is why he was residing within the group house, however he liked being round individuals. Mark’s speech was form of obscure (at the least till you bought to know him higher) and he began calling my dad Reggie. My dad’s identify is Leslie, however when Mark mentioned it, it seemed like Reggie–and that is simply what caught. His identify turned Reggie when Mark was round!

My dad began saving cans and bottles for Mark, and he paid him to do odd jobs across the auto store. Mark would have finished it for nothing as a result of he liked simply being round individuals, however the group house did not give him an allowance for cigarettes, and his cigarettes had been one thing he actually loved.

Ultimately, my dad began choosing him up from the group house to take him out fishing on the boat (Mark liked fishing!) and he realized slightly bit about Mark’s previous. He had been in some form of accident when he was a kid–I imagine eight years outdated, if I keep in mind correctly–where he was hit by a automotive. It was truly the accident that prompted his incapacity. I did not be taught this till the tip of his life; I all the time assumed he was born with particular wants. His mother and father each handed away when he was a child as effectively, and he grew up in an “orphanage” setting; he lived within the group house his whole grownup life.

When my dad realized that Mark’s birthday was on Halloween, he began choosing him up on Halloween and bringing him to our home for slightly birthday celebration earlier than we handed out sweet. My dad would make slightly campfire within the driveway, the place we might sit round and hand out sweet to the trick-or-treaters.

I can not stress sufficient simply how grateful an individual Mark was. He by no means complained about ANYTHING. Even when requested about his preferences, he simply answered, “Oh, any outdated factor!”. My mother would ask him what sort of cake he needed for his birthday, and he’d reply, “Oh, any outdated cake!”

We’d give him a few little gifts–maybe a ball cap or a espresso tumbler (Mark liked espresso as a lot as cigarettes)–and his face would gentle up like he’d simply been informed he gained one million {dollars}. It was so enjoyable to provide him a present as a result of his gratitude was as real because it will get.

I actually began to stay up for spending Halloween at my mother and father’ home with Mark. I solely noticed him a couple of instances a yr, however I knew that when he was round, there was no such factor as disappointment or anxiousness or every other adverse feelings. Mark was the happiest individual I would ever met and you would *really feel* his happiness within the air round him.

So far as we knew, Mark did not have any household. He’d had a brother, however his brother handed away way back. The lady who runs the group house informed us that Mark would get SO excited when he knew that “Reggie” was coming to choose him up–whether it was for his birthday, or to go fishing, or simply hang around on the home for the day.

In 2013, simply a few weeks after we celebrated Mark’s birthday at my mother and father’ home, my dad informed me devastating information: Mark was identified with Stage 4 lung most cancers and it was terminal–it had unfold to his liver, mind, backbone, and just about in every single place. I used to be shocked. I wasn’t very shut with Mark, however like I mentioned, I all the time seemed ahead to seeing him and each time I did, he was so good and refreshing to be round.

Figuring out he did not have any household (at the least that I knew of at that time), I instantly needed to do no matter I may to make the most effective of his final days. My mother and father needed to deliver him to their home whereas receiving hospice care, and I liked that concept.

It was then that we realized Mark had a nephew, and his nephew could be taking on his medical choices. I used to be so indignant when his nephew selected to have Mark bear chemotherapy and radiation; the LAST factor Mark needed was to be within the hospital. Mark liked the outside and the hospital was the worst potential place for him to stay out the rest of his life.

I do not need to write about all of the “dangerous” stuff, as a result of I would like this publish to be about Mark’s type soul. However principally, his nephew (who we would by no means even knew existed within the 35 years my dad had identified Mark!) swooped in and tried to play the loving member of the family doing what was finest for his uncle. I solely met him twice–once within the hospital proper after Mark was identified after which once more on the funeral. He did not go to Mark a single time. However sufficient of that; clearly, I’m very bitter about it!

The very first thing I did once I heard about Mark’s most cancers was publish about it on my weblog. I arrange a PO Field on the publish workplace and requested for individuals to ship him playing cards. I actually cannot even consider the phrases to explain the love I felt for each single one who despatched him a card. I used to be stunned–and so had been the postal workers–at the quantity of playing cards he obtained. I’d cease and choose up his mail each time I visited him within the hospital, after which I’d learn the playing cards to him.

One of many evening nurses took the time to staple all of his playing cards to the curtain round his mattress. Mark would inform the employees, “Take a look at all these folks that care about me. I’ve all these folks that care about me!” and gesture to all of his playing cards. It was wonderful to see how a lot his spirits had been lifted when he acquired a batch of playing cards; despite the fact that Mark was probably the most optimistic individual I’ve ever identified, he made it clear that he needed to get out of the hospital.

Mark particularly liked Jerry. Someday, once we went to go to, I used to be studying Mark his playing cards and he interrupted me to say that he needed Jerry to learn the playing cards as an alternative of me as a result of Jerry has a pleasant voice. BAHAHA!

I had a heart-to-heart dialog with him sooner or later when simply the 2 of us had been in his room, and we talked about Heaven. He mentioned his brother and his mother and father had been in Heaven–“Residence”. He stored referring to Heaven as “HOME Residence”–House is the place you reside, however HOME House is the place you go whenever you move away.

I requested him if he understood that he could be going HOME Residence quickly, and he appeared to know. I did not need to deal with him like a toddler, however I additionally needed to ensure he knew what was occurring. (Excluding my dad, individuals tended to deal with him like a toddler; however Mark may perceive rather more than he was given credit score for.)

We each cried. Seeing Mark cry was some of the heartbreaking moments of my life. He informed me he was scared, and I informed him it was okay to be scared–but that HOME Residence was going to be fantastic and he’d be capable of see his brother once more.

I needed Mark to really feel so particular and so liked till the second he went HOME Residence. I requested him what his favourite meals had been or what he’d like me to deliver him. 

He liked McDonald’s strawberry milkshakes, so I began bringing these often. He was used to ingesting on the spot espresso, so I assumed I would spoil him with Starbucks and I introduced him probably the most ridiculous frou-frou espresso drink that Starbucks needed to supply, haha. He requested hush puppies from Lengthy John Silver’s. And Mary Jane candies. I liked to deliver him issues; I’d learn his playing cards out loud whereas he loved his junk meals.

He was finally moved to a nursing house. The group house could not take him again as a result of they weren’t “geared up” to maintain him there, and his nephew did not need to take him. His nephew additionally did not need my mother and father taking him, so he was put right into a nursing house. Mark actually did not prefer it there, and it turned his mission to get effectively sufficient to go Residence (the group house).

That is Mark with my dad; my dad visited him a couple of instances per week as effectively.

I’d deliver Noah and Eli with me once I may and so they actually loved seeing Mark, too. One evening at house, Eli gave me this word:

Is not that the sweetest factor ever?!

The radiation and chemo took a toll on him, however they purchased him slightly extra time. He labored very arduous on his bodily remedy as a result of he needed to go Residence so badly. In the meantime, Mark had been getting some cash right here and there in his playing cards, and I collected it in an envelope for him. After I requested him what he’d love to do with it, he mentioned he needed to have a celebration for the entire males within the group home–complete with pizza and cake.

With the blessing of his bodily therapist, Mark was in a position to go Residence for a celebration (his therapist even got here to assist out–she was wonderful). We had pizza and cake, and with the leftover cash, I would gotten slightly reward from Mark for every of the lads. Mark appeared so proud that it was HE who threw the celebration. It was the primary time I would met the opposite males who lived there, and I may see why Mark needed to be there. They had been particular, too.

I believe I am going to finish Mark’s story there. He declined in a short time after that–it was like he’d completed what he’d labored so arduous for, and he was able to go HOME Residence. 

Mark handed away on March 26, 2014. I used to be in a position to have a few good moments alone with him the place I used to be in a position to say every thing I needed to say to him, and I am glad that there is not something I want I would have gotten to say earlier than he handed. I do want that I would gotten to *actually* know him years earlier, earlier than he was sick–I would have taken him out to McDonald’s for strawberry milkshakes as soon as per week! That might have been higher than any remedy classes.

Whereas I can not change the previous, I’m very completely satisfied to have gotten to be such a giant a part of Mark’s life when he actually wanted individuals there. He had such a dramatic influence on my life, and in sharing his story, on hundreds of different lives as effectively.

(If you would like to learn extra about Mark, listed here are the entire posts labeled with Mark)